


Fireworks

by To_Matt_Oh



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: 4th of July, BBQ, For me I mean, I'm being honest, M/M, Sneaking, THE ONLY HEALTHY COPING HERE IS ME WRITING THIS, also this was just like therapeutic/experimantal shit, also wow this is long, also y'all should shet boundaries BEFORE going doing/letting someone go down on you, also yes it's unfinished but i also thought 'hey good enough for an open ending right?', do i want to sneakily fuck a handsome and edgy boy while people outside are unsuspicious, enjoy my victorian flamboyant crappy writing, for lending me its characters and letting me completely ignore it for the sake of this, guess we'll never know, i didn't let them cause this isn't about healthy coping, i mean they fuck i just didn't wrote it cause y'all don't deserve it, i'm jk i don't know how to sexily write smut, i'm so sorry tag wrangling team i love you you're doing great sweaty, i've never in my life been to an american bbq, let alone a fancy rich one, nothing explicit i think, or do i want to eat tasty food?, shotout to canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16048766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/To_Matt_Oh/pseuds/To_Matt_Oh
Summary: The air was still cold, rather fresh, and the warmness suffocating it came from the sense of familiarity and as a minimum, 50 people mushing in groups to gossip and laugh while he mushed mosquitoes instead.He was like the night among the stars, just a few steps across him, but not quite there





	Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCrcjEOIPrrW0fDSfR6aEyz0frx_Em9Zs)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I don't know your reading time so you may skip some songs, I used Google Translator to time the length of it so yeah lmao.  
> I also don't know how to match good playlist so enjoy the mess I guess lol.
> 
> ProTip: Lower the volume of the songs so that it becomes a background noise instead of your main focus, don't try to understand the songs the first time you read this... or ever.

The evening air was a whole cacophony of experiences; It was the warmth of summer with the smell of barbecue and laughs in the middle of casual conversations, the loud music in the background and the frenzy of happy children running around the neighbor yard and screaming in a poorly contained excitement, but also the cold breeze that progressively dropped more and more its temperature, the smell of charcoal and beer, the excitement that had been building up since the beginning of summer break, it was the shadows of the dying day and the golden light of a sleepy sun, the purples and the oranges of the close night that started peppering with glowing stars, the shreds of sparks from the fireplace and the streaks of smoke coiling tall into the sky.

And mosquitoes, lots and lots of mosquitoes flying everywhere and mercilessly pinching on Jared’s exposed skin. He should’ve put on something, stinky spray or a suffocant jacket, anything sounded better than this hell of sting right now, but he had already made a decision. A painfully bad one, mind you.

 

Looking around he could barely recognize no one, and a ton of people from his father’s work were congregated there in order to cause a good impression to their boss, plus some random students from his school that kept themselves busy taking selfies or devouring sausages and burgers. He fell into the second category, sitting on a log probably too close to the fire.

The air was still cold, rather fresh, and the warmness suffocating it came from the sense of familiarity and as a minimum, 50 people mushing in groups to gossip and laugh while he mushed mosquitoes instead.

 

When he was going to get another round of buffalo wings the glass door swung open and the mistress swaggered in her pearly white heels carrying a tray with lemonade and uncooked corn. Behind her, hands in his pockets and eyes on the ground stumbled an extremely lanky and tall boy and his father, who looked quite as disgusted as him.

 

“You’re not staying in your room all day, Connor-” Connor. “You gotta socialize and make connections with people, and I swear to god if you sneak back up before this is all done you won’t see the end of it.” The man was mumbling to a very reluctant teenager, who looked like he was already looking for a way out. “Now stop making that face and go talk to someone, maybe you’ll make a friend after all.”

 

Jared scanned him, he was like the night among the stars, just a few steps across him, but not quite there. Something started coiling up on his stomach when Connor’s eyes flickered up and caught him, he could feel it, but there wasn’t a proper word to describe it, so ignoring the uncomfortable warmth building under his skin he turned back to the food and focused on filling his plate up again, careful not to spill anything out of it, but not really minding if the things got mixed together. He walked back to his log, which had remained empty due to the proximity with the unforgiving flames. It smelt like burnt hair, so he guessed that someone had already attempted to take his place. Unsuccessfully so.

 

“Having fun?” His father asked standing behind him.

 

“Mmh, I don’t know, would be funnier if they had beers.” He replied licking the flavored oil off his fingers. Truth be said, the food was good.

 

“Would be ideal, right?” The man insisted with a chuckle.

 

“Well, anyway you couldn’t drink man, I’m not driving my drunk dad home, that’s for sure.”

 

Some chatty coworker called his name, basically luring him away and leaving the boy alone again. Alone with a buffet carefully placed on his legs and an army of mosquitoes and bugs haunting him enough that he would have nightmares with flying bugs for a couple of months.

 

Someone took a seat next to him, the air around transporting the scent of shampoo and humidity, and a dash of weed strong enough to make Jared look at the newcomer who sat slouched with his hands cupped together, and knees dangerously close to the fire.

The night among the stars, illuminated by the yellow light of flames and the dying sun in the horison looked at him without turning around. Jared gulped, but turned back to his meal with a smile.

 

“Love your clothes, very summer, very fresh.” He teased as he peeled the ashy skin off his sausages.

 

It took Connor more than a few seconds to answer back. “Aren’t mosquitoes eating you alive?”

 

“And you?” Checkmate.

 

Connor shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

 

“Oh right, cause real life vampires go perfect with your aesthetic and shit, right?”

 

Silence.

Or well, as silent as it could be with music playing and people babbling everywhere around.

 

Jared looked up again and Connor’s forehead was wrinkled into a light frown.

 

“Did Zoe invite you?” He croaked and Jared blanked for a minute. Who the hell was Zoe?

 

“Who?” Oh right, his sister, the pretty, smart and very talented Murphy girl Evan wouldn’t stop gushing about, he was kinda glad Evan didn’t got invited here or else he’d have a very anxious, very sweaty and very annoying friend over his heels all the damn time, and for what? Only to hear him complain about how nervous and uncomfortable he was and how much of a mistake it was to come here in the first place, but what was the question again? “Oh, nah man, she wouldn’t even look at me if I was being set on fire.”

 

“Then why are you here?” He asked with a cold expression, Jared could feel his heart skipping a beat. Of course he was kicking him out, why else would someone talk to him anyways? Well, he had already ate a decent amount of expensive stuff, he didn’t really minded.

 

“My dad-” he mumbled tilting his head awkwardly. “Kinda forced me to come. Guess I’m too old to stay alone at home.”

 

Connor chuckled. Wait, Connor chuckled? It was more of a breathy smile, the kind when you just exhale through your nose and people just assume is a happy noise, he could as well be huffing, but no, he nodded, and he was smiling too, the light bringing up the wrinkles of the skin near his eyes and mouth.

Jared hadn’t even realized the way his mouth was open until a reckless mosquito bumped into his tongue.

 

“Well, be my guest… at least so I can have one.” He mumbled and there was again that feeling of something building up in his stomach, the cold air brushing his skin like a reassuring hand and Connor’s wacky smile making his heart skip a beat.

 

Jared looked up, the orange sky already letting some flickery stars shine through and the crickets that had started adding to whatever old rock was making Connor hum along, bouncing on his seat and tapping his feet on the grass. Suddenly the incessant chatting wasn’t so annoying and overwhelming anymore, but he couldn’t pinpoint why.

 

“You know of astrology?” Connor asked leaning closer and looking over, almost as if he was trying to see through his eyes and not just get close for the sake of it.

 

“You?” Connor shrugged, so Jared seized to stretch his hand upwards and point at a bright spot that often got lost behind the clouds. “That’s Polaris.” His hand swung across the air and landed on a cluster of stars, barely visible due to the still prevalent sunlight. “And the Big Dipper.”

Connor’s cold fingers slid up his wrist, gently pulling it away and instead tracing the imaginary shape of another bunch of lumps.

 

“Hercules.” He murmured softly, almost like silk dripping from his mouth. Then another bunch. “Scorpius.” At this point he was way too close, almost as if to make sure they were looking at the same constellation.

 

“Damn, they surely had a lot of imagination to find any sort of shape in this crap.” Jared complained, eyes trained on Connor’s pale hand.

Connor chuckled again, making himself comfortable against him, but his slender fingers kept ghosting his hand, pulling it back to a huge star almost at the top.

 

“Well, that’s Antares, can you see it? The red star right there, it’s not dark enough to see it clearly but… I don’t know, nevermind.” Connor mumbled letting go of Jared’s hand which shrunk back slowly, his shoulder stinging from having it outstretched for so long, but he couldn’t bring his eyes away from the ghostly person next to him. Why was he so close? He had even laid his head on his shoulder at some point, the tingling of his hair still a shadow of a feeling on his cheek, but now he had slid away, eyes dropping over the almost unnaturally green grass.

 

“I have to pee, where’s your bathroom?”

* * *

 

Jared sighed, splashing water over his face and looking at his reflection. He hadn’t finished his wings, they were probably cold by now, but there were still remains of sauce all over his face.

He slid down the wall and pulled out his phone, quickly flicking through the apps to find the one he was looking for.

 

To: The Goddamn Lorax

U kno anything bout stars??

 

Five seconds until his message was read, twenty seconds typing. Was he googling it? He wouldn’t have asked you if he wanted a google answer, Evan.

 

From: The Goddamn Lorax

N

No, why?

 

To: The Goddamn Lorax

Wanna impress some1, pls hlp

 

More typing.

 

From: The Goddamn Lorax

Point at the sun and say: “That’s the closest star to the Earth.”

 

Jared snorted. He should’ve done that.

 

To: The Goddamn Lorax

Evan, pls.

Ur no helping

 

From: The Goddamn Lorax

Well I don’t know! I’m a tree expert not a star expert, and afaik, there are no trees in the stars, not a single one.

 

To: The Goddamn Lorax

Thre might b

u’ve never been to onw b4

 

From: The Goddamn Lorax

W/e, go and try to impress ‘someone’

And tell me if you embarrass yourself too bad

 

Jared smiled, shaking his head at his friend almost copy-pasting (and correcting) his own messages at him. Well, he couldn’t complain about it, so he walked out after thoroughly washing his face and getting rid of all the stains of sauce.

He looked around, everything painted in a perfectly pearly white that felt almost overwhelming to his senses. So big and so little forniture, it felt incredible that rich people could take a minimalist lifestyle when they could afford the most gaudy and beautiful of flamboyant houses.

 

As much as he wanted to get out and take a breather to clear his mind, the drowned music and laughter invited him to look for any excuse to stay inside for as long as he could.

He was going to do just that when a cold hand was placed on his shoulder, making him turn around with wide eyes.

 

“Oh hey.” Jared said once he confirmed it wasn’t an evil spirit, nor someone telling him he was in troubles.

 

“Just making sure you wouldn’t wander somewhere and get lost.” Connor mumbled in an oddly calm voice. Jared raised and eyebrow.

 

“Why? Are you scared of me finding the corpses of your enemies?”

 

Connor shrugged and smiled. “Maybe so… do you want a beer?”

 

“How outrageous.” Jared teased, a smile slowly stretching through his face. “Do you even have beers in your high tier, dapper house?”

 

Connor rolled his eyes, his initial excitement and deviousness vanishing in a fraction of a second, Jared wasn’t sure why, but he felt like regretting his words any second now.

 

“Whatever, I’m not forcing you to do anything.”

 

“Didn’t your dad told you not to sneak in?” Jared remembered, now turning around to face him as best as he could, and even in the dim light of the corridor he could distinguish his sharp features relaxing and curving up in a reckless smirk.

 

“Yeah, fuck that guy. I’m still willing to offer you a beer, how’d’ya like it?”

 

“Yeah sounds good.”

 

Connor’s smile gained definition again and his hand stretched to take his, pulling him over to the stairs and all the way up, then down the hall and into a room messier than his own, with walls darkened with a dull green. Jared looked around as Connor lit up his table light and crawled under the bed to pull a couple of cans of beer.

His bed looked dreamily fluffy, and the black comforter spread over a bundle of wrinkled sheets only added to the effect.

 

Connor nodded towards the space next to him and Jared moved near, grabbing the can and popping the tab with some struggle. He was terrible at this, that’s the reason why he always had to buy soda in bottles or drink water, he nearly ripped the ring and left the tab untouched, and that would’ve been embarrassing.

“God man, it’s a can not a grenade.” Connor chuckled and took a sip of his drink, Jared followed with a sassy gesture, next time he’d try stabbing a knife through it to see what he liked better.

As the disgusting liquid slid down his throat and the sting and burn made it a fairly regrettable decision a glimpse catch his attention on the ceiling.

There were a bunch of glowing stars, very old apparently, and mainly just holding onto faith up there, but they were there, and Jared was pretty sure there was some reasoning behind the arrangement.

 

“Where did you learn so much about stars?” He asked trying to decipher some pattern similar to the ones Connor showed him a couple of minutes ago, but there were so many constellations, and the possibility of Connor liking one or both of the ones he showed him earlier (plus him recognizing a bunch of seemingly random stars) was so, so small, he really didn’t had any hopes.

 

Connor shrugged again and leaned on the wall, his leg propped up on the bed as he analyzed Jared's face for any hint of mockery. “I didn't.”

 

“Oh come on, so you just came out of the womb with that knowledge already codded in you?” Jared said with a raised brow.

 

“Bold of you to assume I ever came out of anywhere.” Connor said with a small smile, Jared's eyes widened and gravitated towards him, but he was looking away, eyes trained on his bedside lamp. Did he really meant what Jared's gay ass got out of that joke? “I don't know, my dad bought me a telescope back in first grade and I didn't really liked it but I wanted to know what I was looking at so I got a big ass book and that's it.”

 

Jared smiled and laid down on the bed, carefully holding the can so it wouldn’t spill. “I didn’t thought I’d ever see one of those again.” He said looking at the green stars hovering over him..

Connor looked up and smiled.

 

“What, a nerd?”

 

Jared snorted. “No, the stars! Those!” His hand outstretched and stayed like that for a moment. They brought back lots of memories, back when he helped Evan stick his own whenever one of them fell down, when they would have slumber parties, when none of them were worried of the most insignificant stuff going wrong. The good days.

 

“Did you ever have any?” Connor asked looking down at him.

 

“Nah,... nah I didn't, my friends did and I felt sad because my parents wouldn't get me any.” Jared laughed softly. “I don't even think you count as a nerd, you have to achieve a look for that, you know?”

 

“That's a stereotype you prick.” Connor laughed and shook his head.

 

“Well, thinking about it, I think you fit within the gay nerd type so you do have a point, I'll let it slide.” Jared shrugged as best as he could and Connor’s eyes immediately jumped onto him like hungry lions, but he didn’t seemed to realize before turning to see him. “What? Did I-?”

 

Connor turned away, huffing and running his hands through his untamed mane. “Do you have a gaydar too or what?”

 

Jared gave him a surprised laugh. “And it works wonders.” Apparently.

Connor smiled, rebellious strands bouncing back down like wild lianas. “I know where’s the north and I know where’s the gay.”

 

“Oh my god.” Connor’s laugh resonated strongly into the room. “One of those is a lie.”

 

“Wha-”

 

“Sorry to break it down to you, but that wasn’t Polaris.” He kept laughing, and Jared would’ve been upset if it wasn’t because he was too busy looking at him wiggling and wheezing, and his hairs bobbing up and down. God what a nerd.

 

“Whatever man, they’re just balls of plasma that probably don’t even exist anymore.” Jared said, bringing the can to his lips once again. At this point he had probably drank more air than beer, but he didn’t cared.

 

There was a moment of silence, a nice silence, the kind of silence one can get used to because is inviting, comfortable, no lack of words but of necessity. Jared sighed and Connor looked at him.

 

“You like Fall Out Boy?” He asked, Jared snorted.

 

“I think I've heard them?” He quirked a brow.

Connor smiled widely and pulled his phone out of the drawer, eyes glowing under the cold light as he quickly looked for his most energetic playlist. He set the phone aside as the first notes started vibrating and stood up, pulling Jared up with a smile and swinging, hands fisted in the air, around the room.

 

Jared smiled embarrassedly, Connor wasn’t amazing at dancing (he doubted that even counted as dancing), but he wasn’t any better, and he was very self-conscious, which was an added plus, but Connor was jumping around, shaking his head and singing along to the beat, he couldn’t help but finishing his beer and following him. It was one of those moments when you don't even think about it, you just follow, you just go with it.

 

So they danced, and for some reason their bodies kept going close, like gravitating.

It wasn't a big deal at first, mostly hip bumps and light pushes, but suddenly they were close, way too close and Connor's lips were over his, warm and steady, and it caught him out of guard for a second, but he retaliated, hands on his shoulders as the other’s swayed over his waist.

 

It was a nice kiss, it was curious, and felt more like an occurrence rather than an event, it was simple, and then his back touched the wall and Connor's lips slipped down his neck, and it was still simple, like a kid exploring a new toy. There was a certain fascination with the way their hips pressed together and the different ways to kiss his skin, but that was it. It was simple, and fresh, and really not pushy or overwhelming like he expected. Jared just focused on the sensations, his brow furrowed slightly as he guided him to warmer places.

 

“How far?” Connor panted on his ear, Jared felt his knees going weak immediately, he was very aware of Connor’s hands; One resting carelessly on his thigh, the other one holding his waist like he was going to faint.

 

“Bed.” Jared mumbled before pulling him back into another kiss, his leg hooking on Connor’s hips to leverage himself better. Connor pulled him up, his hands holding firmly on the guy’s flesh and pressing him harshly against the wall every time his hips grinded him up. Jared would’ve been worried of being dropped or hurting him if he hadn’t been so into the kiss and the breathy noises that escaped his throat every now and then that, by the moment his body was dropped onto the bed not a single piece of clothing was still in place.

 

Connor was kissing him and then Jared felt himself jolt at a loud thunder-like sound striking loudly over the music both outside and inside and way over their pants and breaths, the room illuminating in sparks of red and blue, and the amused ‘aahs’ and ‘oohs’ of the guests in the garden. Both exchanged a look before laughing awkwardly and continuing with their small exploration. Jared was hyper aware of his surroundings, his feelings enhanced and his brain desperately trying to register everything going on at the same time.

He could, for example, feel the clogging smell of grim in the room, unevenly mixed with zofran and cinnamon, the faint smell of weed and Connor’s pine and wood deodorant, he could feel the cold seeping in through the window and beating warmth of their blood pumping in through their bodies and towards important regions, he could feel the taste of alcohol and foreign saliva in his mouth and the way Connor touched him like he wasn’t afraid of making him uncomfortable and it somehow worked, because he didn’t gave Jared any time to stop and think of where his hands were or what were they doing. He couldn't seem to care picking everything apart from the giant buzzing cloud in his head, but he would definitely remember it later.

 

Eventually, the fireworks stopped getting them so shaken, only stealing Jared's breath every now and then, knowing that if someone walked in, they wouldn't even hear them, but as Connor slid his cold hands under Jared’s shirt tentatively his mind went blank. Jared hissed, he was making his mosquito marks itch again, but somehow it was worth it.

 

“What do you want? Where can I touch?” Connor asked calmly. Jared gulped, he expected him to take the lead, not to ask for instructions, but his words lifted a weight from his chest instead providing him with a sense of security and the silent promise that everything would be alright, and that he wouldn't hurt him on purpose.

 

“Take off your sweater.” He mumbled, eyes trained on him as he did as indicated. His breath stuck on his throat as Connor's shirt lifted slightly with his arms, his pale stomach almost glowing in the dark room, bouncing the colorful fireworks that infiltrated through the window and giving him a fantasy like appearance. It was almost unnatural, almost too white, he looked cold, and a shiver shot down his spine, instead looking up towards his shoulders. Connor looked expectant. “I ehr- I’ll keep my shirt.”

Connor nodded, leaning back in to gently place a bite to his jaw, peppering him with small kisses that only served to electrify the air surrounding them. Jared felt almost lame getting hard with just that, but he could feel hard fabric pressing and rubbing against his thigh and letting him know he wasn't alone with this.

 

Connor felt hazed, the music that sternly kept playing and the animated chatter outside completely locked out of his conscience, his eyes affixed on the way Jared moved underneath him, on how he met his movements halfway through and how he pleaded and asked for specific things, specific touches, specific kisses, his face glowing under the tinted light of the spectacle. He was completely clothed but without glasses he seemed almost naked and then he looked up, squinting at the dark figure before him.

 

“Connor? Connor!” He called, pulling away and sitting up to inspect his partner.

 

“Uh yeah? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?” Connor asked coming back to himself.

Jared shook his head, bringing a hand up to comb through the deviant hairs of Connor's mane.

 

“You weren't moving, at all.”

 

“Oh.” Connor mumbled embarrassedly, leaning his head into the touch.

 

“What happened? Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, I'm alright, just… Got caught up thinking I guess.”

Jared hummed, moving a little away and pulling him down on his lap.

 

“About what?” Jared asked softly, thoroughly ignoring his erection and the way Connor's head pressed just next to it.

 

“Nothing, I suppose.”

Jared hummed again, his face sinking with worry.

 

“You sure you wanted to do this? You seemed pretty into it so I just went with it but I didn't ask so we can stop or something.”

 

“No, no, I do I just… Struggle.. To stay in my mind.” There was a moment of silence. “No one had asked me if I wanted to continue tho.”

 

Jared smiled. “Well do you?”

 

“Yeah, just more kissing.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> God I haven't written in so long I just blew the dust off of this. Health is a luxury y'all. Enjoy it.
> 
> (Also oh God the Playlist took so long to edit so that it would match the reading speed of the Translator somewhat decently lmao rip)
> 
> ALSO also: Sorry for the disappointment of no real smut here, I just like it this way better lmao.


End file.
